Releasing the Flow

Life has been happening at a rapid pace for the last several months.

Family relationships, illness, death, career issues and finances have taken their toll. This season of challenge have occupied much of my thoughts, and dried up the flow of my pen. Instead, my tears flow, and my heart has been poured out in prayer, beseeching the Lord for help and guidance, praising Him for the mercy I know must be there.

The phone rang this morning, as I headed to the kitchen for breakfast. More bad news.

Fighting tears, I sat down to my bran flakes and banana, and grab my bible. Most mornings, I read as I eat, usually from my where I left off the previous day. It calms me, and many times, a chord is struck by the passage, leaving me to marvel at God's timing.

But today the pages fell to a random spot, and an underlined verse from the Living Word leapt out, leaving me momentarily stunned.

"The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still." (Ex 14:14)

Sinking to my chair, I glanced at the previous verse, and Moses began to no longer to speak to the Israelite people, but to me.

"Don't be afraid," his voice reaches through centuries to say. "Stand firm. The Lord will fight for for you."

Reading on, I heard God proclaim that the Egyptians, the enemies, in my own life will continue to pursue me, but that through it all, God will bring glory to Himself through my life. And soon, I will see my enemy no more.

Like the Isrealites, I am scared witless sometimes. I fully expect to experience the heartaches and suffering that no human escapes. Jesus, in His own humanity, suffered with me, for me, more deeply than I can imagine.

My prayer is often that I will glorify Him through my life. I was just half-heartedly hoping that I'd get to pick the "how" part.

My flesh is so foolish, so weak. It whispers, "Why does this have to be so hard? Why should I have to go through this." Pity party time. Poor me.

Thank God for His Holy Spirit! Even as the thought ran through my mind, the Word in my heart hurled His rebuke to the enemy in my flesh, "Get behind me Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men." (Mt 16:23)

Again, the tears flow from my eyes. But now, the ink flows from my pen. Tears of gratitude, words of love...

Oh precious Saviour, I am yours. You gave yourself for me. Again, today, I give myself to You. Let my life glorify you through joy and sorrow. I can do ALL things through You.

The Golden Secret

They say that intelligence is the ability to learn or understand, while wisdom is the ability to apply that knowledge gained. I would venture to say that wisdom is gained through the baking, if you will, of the knowledge gained in the oven of life experience.

As I look back from past the mid-century mark of my life, I marvel at my own foolishness in my younger years. And I try to choose my words carefully as I talk with those lacking the tenure that I have in life's firing kiln.

To my disappointment, I'm often silenced by frustration as I realize that the words often to do not exist to impart wisdom. All that can be given is knowledge gained. Pearls to swine? Perhaps. But sometimes it is the giving of those pearls that reveals the nature of the recipient.

And so, if anyone has endured my musings long enough to get to this paragraph, I have another pearl to toss...

You've heard many times of the Golden Rule. "Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you." (Matt 7:12) I would suggest that this is not a rule, but a secret. I would even go as far as to call it a key, a concept so powerful that it unlocks doors to passageways we never knew existed. 

It's turning moves tumblers that in turn, set into motion a chain of events through which God does amazing things - things that cannot be planned, for which no strategy exists. Things that inspire slack-jawed wonder and joyous praise to Him who does exceedingly and abundantly more than we could ask or imagine, which in turn must bring joy to the heart of the Father who so desperately loves his children.

The secret is this: the rule is not a rule, but an explanation of how life works.

On the surface level, the secret is somewhat the same as the worldly saying "What goes around, comes around." Some call it karma. However the concept is referred to, it is almost universally recognized that you get what you give, eventually.

Some would argue that this is not always true, and that they personally have experienced that lack of return on their investment. Unfortunately, for those who are "of this world", I have no pearls.

For the "rule" may not apply without exception to those who are not children of God. We who are heirs are not bound by this world's reality. The Word overrules all.

The reality of that makes my brain hurt sometimes.

So, for us who have accepted Jesus Christ as our savior and have given ourselves in His service, the principle is more complex. It becomes more about motivation.

When we do for others out of a desire to love, to serve, to show God's mercy, to be Jesus - then we can be assured that the investment will be returned. Because it's not about us.

When you get down to the very bottom of it all, as far as I know at this point in my life, the truth of it is that when you live your life focusing on doing and being for the good of others, the things that enable you to continue, that bring joy and true contentment and satisfaction will be given back to you. And the things that breed selfishness and self-focus will not.

For God is Love. 1 John 4:8 "Whoever does not love, does not know God, for God is love." We are never more transformed, never more of HIM than when we love.

Some would shake their heads at this point and turn away disappointed. I understand. It took me a lifetime to really get here, and I still get it wrong... a lot. I get distracted by things and life and just by being human.

But when I see the face of someone light up because I've helped them or done for them, when I am enveloped in a hug, or just been rewarded with a smile from someone whose is thankful for what I was able to do, my heart is full of joy that cannot be purchased with anything but the giving of love. Joy that miraculously becomes more love.

And when I am hurt, or empty, I go to the Father in prayer and in His Word, and fill up.

I grieve at the years I waste chasing the things of this world, realizing that I just need the time and life experience necessary to develop these pearls. Perhaps pearls can only be developed within each individual oyster, and cannot be given. Maybe that's what this life is for.

That makes my brain hurt too.

What I know is this: When I apply this secret, this golden key and make my everyday focus about being and doing for those whom God puts in my path, I feel... right. I feel like I'm doing what I was made to do. And even though some days I am joyful and other days I am frustrated or hurt, I have the ability to keep doing it because I know somewhere deep inside that's why I'm here.

So it really doesn't matter what degree I hold or what career path I choose. It doesn't matter what I drive or where I live. It doesn't matter if I'm bold or shy, graceful or clumsy, skilled in anyway or not. Am I reaching out in love, in serving? That's what it's all about.

And that is all that matters.

The key is this: When you love, LOVE returns to you. When you give joy, JOY returns to you. When it's all about you, you are empty.

And that pearl... well it's not fully developed yet for me. Sometimes I get it, and sometimes I don't. But He is faithful to keep giving me the life experience to harden that pearl, to make a diamond of this coal. Praise God.

Planning to Fail

Although I am most definitely not a morning person, the very first part of the day has become my favorite time. I am earnestly striving to be disciplined about rising earlier, so that I have time to drink of the Word and breathe in the Spirit through prayer. It is a struggle, however.

You see, the brains of us who “don’t do mornings” do not start running properly right away. It takes an hour or two before we are fully functional. We have a sweet, childlike time in the early hours when we are doing good to remember our own names. Morning routines are extremely important to us, because they ensure that the dog is fed and the house keys are not left on the kitchen counter.

This phenomenon is a great source of amusement to my annoyingly cheerful morning-person husband. He starts his day ready to go, bouncing off the walls while I’m peering out the bedroom window with one eye, trying to figure out what day it is.

There, however is my blessing. It is in this wonderful time of sipping my coffee and reading my Bible, while my brain has not yet powered up, that I can drink in the nourishment that the Word and prayer provides. Any further into the day, and the memory of the insane list of things that I feel compelled to get done today acts as filter, allowing only the tiniest bit of nourishment to reach my starving soul.

It is only after that first rather large cup of “go-juice”, after reading and praying, that the voices of duty begin to be heard and the demands of today intrude. Like a fog of confusion, it seems that they all descend upon my mind at once, and I fight hyperventilation, while reaching for yet another rather large cup of coffee.

Sound like anybody you know? Funny thing is, that if I’ve spent enough time in communion with the Lord, the Holy Spirit filters the voices of duty, instead of the other way around. But still, I too often limit my time with the Lord so that I might attempt to meet the demands of life. In doing so, I stupidly poke huge holes in the Spirit’s filter.

“Why do I do this to myself, and how do I stop?” I wrote in an email to a dear friend a few days ago. It is the theme of many these days. It is, I believe one of the greatest battles we face, especially for women. Well, God is everywhere, even in cyberspace, where He intercepted my email and began to speak to me about my problem, using the age old story of King Asa.

Asa was the great-grandson of Solomon, and King of Judah. Devoted to the Lord, he went to great lengths to rid Judah of idol worship. Consequently, when the huge Cushite army threatened early in his reign, he promptly called upon the Lord.

2 Chron 14:11: “…Lord there is no one like you to help the powerless against the mighty. Help us, O Lord our God, for we rely on You, and in Your name we have come against this vast army. O Lord, You are our God; do not let man prevail against You.”

Faithful to His people, the Almighty struck down the Cushites before Asa and Judah. What a glorious, encouraging story of the faithfulness of the Lord!

But, life presses in. The deceiver is not finished with Asa. The enemy bides his time, utilizing the oldest and most treacherous of weapons against Asa – his own pride. Asa does not even see it coming.

Asa gets busy running the kingdom, cutting down Asherah poles (idol worship), deposing old queen grandma because she worshipping idols. He is fully committed to the Lord, we are told in chp 15, vs 17. He is in the groove, doing good, feeling secure… even proud of himself, I think.

Hmmm… I bet he had lists of things to do, planning meetings to attend, a guy following him around with his “planning papyrus” nearby, so he could reschedule the next asherah pole destruction session at a moment’s notice. He had it going on, and God was backing him.

Therein is the problem. No longer is God going before Asa, out front. No longer is God the inspiration, the director, the source of strength and guidance. God is not leading. Asa is marching out front, checking over his shoulder occasionally to see if God is following.

The enemy strikes. Baasha, King of Israel, rises up against Asa and Judah. But this time, Asa has got it. He can handle this one by himself, thanks. He makes a deal with a neighboring king for military assistance and together they send Baasha running with his tail between his legs. “Ha! See what I did,” he may be thinking. “Smart strategizing, smart planning…” It appears to all that Asa has been wise, victory is his. The deception is complete.

I am so guilty of Asa’s sin. Planner, laptop, spreadsheets to keep track of my to-do’s, cell-phone always at my side, I march off to conquer today’s challenges because I’ve got it, Lord. I can do this by myself! “Watch me,” I pray, during a hurried prayer session, glancing over my shoulder to see if He is following.

Oh, please. Am I so stupid that I would expect the Lord God Almighty to follow me?

I am sure that Asa was astounded when, instead of a pat on the shoulder from the Lord, he received a resounding rebuke. A seer is sent by the Lord to inform Asa that he missed the boat entirely. He had to go and solve the problem himself instead of relying on God like he had done the first time. God tells Asa that his foolishness has only allowed the enemy to escape! And here is the verse that slays him, and me:

“For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him. You have done a foolish thing, and from now on you will be at war.” 2 Chron 16:9

Oh! That had to really knock the wind out of him. I gasped when I read this, knowing the implications in my own life.

A problem arises (guess who is after me again), I evaluate it, seek council of wise friends, come up with a plan… This is the part where I am losing the battle, already.

You see, I have a plan for everything. I have plans to make plans. “Those who fail to plan, plan to fail,” and “God helps those who helps themselves,” are old sayings that somehow have infected my poor little brain. I can almost hear the enemy cackling because he knows my “plans” exceed both my time and my ability to implement them!

My precious daughter chided me this morning, reminding me of how a good friend of mine just takes things as they come. Is my friend’s life as complicated as mine? Maybe, maybe not. But who made mine so complicated? Um, that would be me.

Our Sovereign Lord gave Asa the freedom to choose. He could continue to humble himself before the Lord, to rely on Him only, or to take enough rope to hang himself.

How much rope have I got? A PILE! A big coil, and I am dragging it around with me everywhere I go. Except in the mornings, when I have forgotten about it for a little while. Oh Lord, how foolish am I?

Once again, I repent of my pride and humble myself before the King of kings. Once again I lay my plans, my day-timer, my laptop, my cell phone, my life at the feet of Him who knows every sparrow that falls. I hear the shrieks of frustration coming from the evil ones who beset me. Through my tears, it is now my turn to laugh.

Oh merciful Savior, You are so good to us! Direct our steps, Lord, and go before us always.

So how about you? Yes, the enemy will be back, with a more insidious deception. We may weaken for a bit. We may get ahead of the Lord again, forgetting to allow Him to lead the way. But our sweet Savior is merciful – He promises to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him.

Wonderous Beauty

I'm amazed and delighted how the Lord reveals Himself to us. I see Him everywhere, in everything. His precepts, His love, His truth are written upon the leaves of the trees, in the rushing waterfalls, in the love of a family. My heart beats at His will, His word is the air my soul breathes.

To view my daily life without Him is like forgetting to put on my glasses. I cannot see things as they really are. I am blinded by the illusions of the enemy, by the veils of deceit he casts before me.

Everything is about Him. There is nothing in life, NOTHING, that can be contemplated accurately without Him.

I've often thought that the underlying truths of life, of God, are glimpsed only momentarily because that is all I can handle. I wonder if my Father allows me only a little peek because they are so deep, so profound that I could not get my mind around them if I were to be able to look at them for very long. Recently, however, a friend gave me a little different perspective.

These truths are there, in plain view, for all to see. Sometimes we don't WANT to see them, because of their implications in our lives. Sometimes we don't have the ability to see them, because we are looking only with our human eyes.

The ability to see them, the inpiration to understand them, is given by the Spirit of God. As we become filled with the Spirit, as we breathe the word of God, as it gives us life, transforming us into the image of His precious Son, we begin to see with His sight.

I still think that the reason I can see only in glimpses is that it is all I am capable of handling. The truths of God are incomprehensibly deep water. I am only human. They overwhelm me at the same time that they thrill my heart. I want to drown in them, yet I am terrified of their power. Their beauty is excrutiating. I long for them, and they are too much for me to behold.

As I yearn for the wisdom to understand and the strength live by His truth, my heart trembles with the knowledge these things are not easily attained. They are striven for, earnestly sought after, as His word tells us.

Prov 2:3 "and if you call out for insight, and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.

Oh, but the beauty, the wonder, the peace and the love that is but a foretaste of what we will find when we are home with Him. The more I find, the more I long for Him. Anticipation of heaven, of eternity in His glorious presence makes me hunger for His truth even further.

This life becomes an adventure, a training, a search for treasure to be cherished on the journey to joy beyond measure, beyond comprehension. If we really understood what heaven meant, how differently we would live every moment.

Our challenge, then, is to not only seek it out, but to live the beauty, live the vision so fully that our lives become the mirror through which others may begin to see the glimpses of Him.

The Dream Giver

Some very special girlfriends (you know who you are) recently urged me to read Bruce Wilkinson's book, "The Dream Giver". What a blessing it has been to me and my family!

We all have dreams, which are constantly revealed in our gifts, natural tendencies and yearnings. Our constant exposure to these indicators, however, causes a kind of blindness. (Ever left something sitting so long that you no longer notice that its there? Or have something "broken but functional" until you no longer consciously acknowledge its need to be fixed?)

Our dreams are such an integral part of our lives that we're often too close to them to see them. They come in all shapes and sizes, in all kinds of categories, each equally important to both us and to the One who placed them inside of us.

Some are common to many: to have a great marriage, to raise happy, healthy children, to be a great parent. Some are unique to us individually: to orchestrate an inspiring ministry, to teach high school, to defend children, to heal cancer. Some are large, by human standards: to publish a best-selling novel, to become a prominent lawyer. And some, though small in human terms, are large in eternal terms: to take care of an aging parent, to heal a relationship with a loved one, to help our children choose the right career.

We err in assuming that our dreams are unworthy of pursuit because of their lack of gradeur. It is often the small things of this world that God uses to accomplish the large things.

1 Cor 1:27-28 tells us, "God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are."

To us as individuals, that means being the very best You or Me that we were created to be, striving for those dreams that God planted inside of us.

I have this wonderful friend who is the most hospitable person I've ever met. She will cook scrumptious meals and have an armload of folks over to eat, invite them all to stay for however long they'd like, and make them feel like her home is more "homey" than their own. She loves to have company. She collects recipes to delight her guests. Her dream? To be surrounded by friends and family. To love others through serving them. Being who she was created to be.

She glorifies God and demonstrates His love through her dream. That is what we are all called to do, through all the dreams we have, both big and small.

So, who are you? Who are your children? Who is your mate? What did you love to do as a child? What do you love to do now? What comments or compliments do you most often recieve? What gifts or traits do you most notice in your loved ones? These things reveal our dreams.

Implanted in your being by the Creator, our dreams have huge potential in His kingdom. Maybe they are not things that the world would recognize as "great", but they are gigantic from the eternal perspective. To deny them is to bury them in the backyard, like the unfaithful servant did in the parable of the talents.

Remember, in Matthew 25? The poor guy only had a one talent. Not worth doing anything with, really. Isn't that how we look at our dreams? And the response of the master?

Matth 25:26"His master replied, 'You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? 27Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest. "

Our talents, our dreams, will grow as we use them and live them, even just a little. The Master says, "at least you could have put it in the bank (where it would be safe?) so it would earn some interest." And here's the best part; the Master Himself determines the interest rate. He is in absolute, divine control of the growth of our dreams.

There is no greater thrill than to be pursuing the dreams that the Dream Giver created inside of us. What an adventure our lives could be!

So, my friends, open your eyes and dream.

A new beginning

This blog marks a early milestone in earnest pursuit of a long and cherished dream. For some time now, I've written articles of inspiration to share with several cherished friends, who in turn have shared with others. And from childhood, my dream has been to write stories that would inspire and teach. It is my hope that the words that you may read here will encourage, uplift and sometimes even break your heart, so that we may love more deeply, repent more earnestly and serve our God more fully.
I am a 40-something yr old mother of 2 beautfiful girls, an escapee from corporate America, devoted wife of a wonderfully sweet man, and servant to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, to whom I give all the glory and honor.
Be Blessed.
Cheryl